After this past church retreat (really fun and spiritually refreshing; more on this later) I've decided to be a bit more productive this winter break.. So far, I had done nothing except games and go to Chicago... So to be able to say I've done something this break, I've decided to read a bit more. Our family got a Kindle Fire from a supporting church in California, so I've downloaded a lot of books.
So far, I'm planning on reading Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. :) Orthodoxy, I just really liked when we read excerpts in lit class last year, and Pride and Prejudice, we watched a bit of the movies this year. Haven't had time to read any Pride and Prejudice and I've barely started Orthodoxy, but I've quickly remembered why I liked it so much. Chesterton is a fricking genius... His logic (although he claims it to be the cause of craziness) is just so awesome. :D Love reading his writings... It makes me not only think and stimulate my brain (reading every line at least 3 times is a bit tedious at times but when everything clicks, it's so worth it) but also it increases my appreciation and understanding of my faith. Killing two birds with one stone~
Ugh... I really liked this one song at our retreat... but we only sang it once unlike some songs we sang like 3 to 4 times a day... :( Can't remember it now~ Blah
But about the retreat, we had a sermon about our idols... and when i thought about it, I realized I had a lot more idols than I had realized. Not in any particular order, here they are.
#1 LA Lakers
Even at the retreat, I was thinking about the recently started NBA season. I was wondering which teams were doing well, and I was worrying for my favorite team. And like 2 days before the retreat began, I was given a pretty clear sign from God telling me to let go of the Lakers. On Christmas, on a day I should have completely and totally set aside for God, I was fuming at how the Lakers had blown a late 4th quarter lead. Instead of thanking God for giving me the gift of eternal life, I was complaining and blaming Him for letting my basketball team lose in such embarrassing fashion. And to top it all off, every team I was rooting for lost that day. All 5 NBA games (and my starcraft team :P) lost all when they had good chances of winning. Oh well. I got over it semi during the retreat and I tried changing my devotion from my team to my King.
#2 Relationships
This one, I wasn't obsessing about too much over break, but I realized that I very often prioritize my friends and family over God. I would stay up till 3AM writing letters till my fingers and my whole arm would cramp up, yet I would then go straight to sleep forgoing my devotions that night. On other nights, I would wake up early on weekend mornings (a big deal for me) to chat and talk to friends in Russia, but I would be so reluctant to go to church. And stuff like that... This retreat, I realized that God, as my true first love, deserved more than I could ever offer. And the least I can do is devoting a bit more time to Him.
#3 Myself..
Whew... Anyone who knows me remotely knows how proud, competitive, and perfectionist-ic I am... Part of this perfectionism comes from my dislike to stuff being clean and organized, but another part of it just stems from my wanting to glorify myself. By doing stuff better than average, I get the praise of others and I honor myself rather than God. I do stuff sometimes with the sole motive of doing it so others can see how good I can do stuff... -_-;; It's still a flaw I struggle with, but this retreat, I really was broken and humbled by God. After all, He dislocated someone's hip with the lightest brush of his finger. o.O Hopefully, I won't be broken to that point, but I'll still have to praise and glorify Him while I grow less.
For those of you who didn't know what I was alluding to.
John 3:30
"He must become greater; I must become less."
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